Dayz

1.5.19

Dayz …  by sde

Yesterday Anita said to stay…she told me to stay…she said she really loved it here.

we talked about tombstones…we talked about our kids… and I hugged another new friend

good-bye.

 I want to run

             I want to hide

                         I gotta find a hole somewhere cuz I swear I’m dying inside…

I want to scream

             I want to strike

                         I gotta vent this shit before my impulses and the world collide…

 

I tried to write a poem the other day…

I tried to tell you but you’ll never hear what I say

I cried when I wrote the line “I love too much” so I had to walk away

Only to return to write what I know you’d reply…”I think too much”

ugh, stop – don’t even try

all men love, they love to lie

ha ha ha, uh, you ARE a guy!

  

The other day I told her I was great…I smiled and nodded…I gave my empowered me speech.

we spoke of much…shock, trauma, grief…she picked a scab I didn’t want to touch

not ever.

 I want to run

             I want to hide

                         I gotta find a hole somewhere cuz I swear I’m dying inside…

I want to scream

             I want to strike

                         I gotta vent this shit before my impulses and the world collide…

 

I’m gonna punch a hole in the sky and tear it open with my bare hands

so everyone can see the huge gaping hole that’s been torn in my universe

this gorgeous black hole sucking me in and consuming all that remains of me…

I wonder, tomorrow…where will I be?